the "Spa" part one

A few gals asked if I would like to join them and go to on a spa day. It would be really cheap and take the whole day; a lot of activities were included so i decided to soak it up...literally.

I traveled to a less populated part of the city to find myself in the business district. Here there was cobblestone streets and a wonderful view of the Brooklyn Bridge. It was actually nice to explore a new section; as I did, I got a bit carried away and was about 30 minutes late to meet my friends. They had texted me and said to just meet them inside. I had wondered around a little longer trying to blend, but then it happened...I found the spa.

From the outside, there is a little awning that simply says "SPA" and as you enter you are guided down a flight of stairs immediately into a stale aired room. As a virgin to this 'spa thing' I was expecting champagne, slippers, robes, beautiful people....what I got was a makeshift desk with a scary woman (by scary I mean a model looking lady with eyes that burn through your face and make you feel like if you ask a question she will make you explode immediately). But anyways, seeing that none of my friends were greeting me, I walked over to 'the devil' and say 'I'm meeting some friends.' She turns around opens a lock box from behind the desk and says "put valuables here." Looking around and seeing no escape, I took out my credit card to pay the fee I was anticipating--"NO! PAY AT END!" she says. Needless to say, I was not about to leave my phone, ipod and wallet in a box to but I had no clue what else to do...run out the door and forget my friends were waiting somewhere in this vague environment...but I quickly placed all valuables into the box and as I held a bag with bathing equipment and extra shoes, that very well would not fit into the box, the devil locked the box and handed me the set of keys...and literally shoo-ed me away.

I stood in the corner for a few minutes hoping that someone else who wasn't a rookie would come in so I could avoid asking the devil what to do next. I didn't see my friends anywhere in the small closet of an area and I didn't have my phone to fool around on while I waited for the spa's next victim. I ended up counting the floor tiles...which turned out wonderful as I noticed a foot path. Most of the tiles were in decent shape...except for a few that traveled into an unmarked door. I got some balls and let myself into the door. WELL--there it was. The lounge.

AH I was so excited to see other people...old men and their balls chatting in different languages sipping water and nibbling on snacks--woman half dressed in robes enjoying a cup a tea and reading...and there they were---my friends. As I expressed my utter dismay about what had happened at the front desk they assured me my valuables were safe and there were lockers associated with the keys from the lock box to leave the rest of my 'equipment' there.

I went and changed into a swimsuit chugged a half bottle of sparkling water and was ready to roll into the 'spa'.....

it's always Inappropriate and Uncomfortable...

Ok so the votes are in to hear about these crazy things that happen to me on a regular basis...by following this blog you will find that not only is your life less awkward than mine, but you will appreciate the person I now am because of how freaking crazy people are around me.

1) a few weeks ago, in Philly, my friend and I stepped outside of a bar to have a smoke. i wasn't outside for more than 3 seconds because a group of people shoved by us and one of the high strung males decided it was imperative to approach me..."Sweetheart," he says while gently holding my face in his hand and pushing the hair behind my ear, "you really should stop smoking." then walked away. Not only did my friend freak because this stranger not only approached me with no care---but proceeded to touch and then give me advice.

2) I have been in NYC for a solid 3 weeks, I have managed to avoid giving away my money to the bums (considering 2 years ago when I visited this kid totally got me to buy a bag of M&Ms for $5 to support his basketball team...later we decided he made $4 off of me and probably didn't even know how to play basketball) I have avoided getting lost in the 'bad parts' of town, I have even avoided asking for directions in which case I would look like a tourist and have a target on my back for SVU style work. In being able to become part of the crowd, HOWEVER I have noticed I have not been able to avoid the special ability I have as an individual who is a magnet to strange and off-color comments about just about anything. At my new job here is what happened...
"...well how old are you??" / "I'm 23.."/ "WHOA--we thought you were closer to 27/28..."/ with a straight face someone else chimes in... "so your actually blonde...not a brunette"/ I said I'm sorry what?" /"i can see your roots...either your getting grey hair at a young age or you dye your hair"
Welp...that was fun.

I'm sure I'll have more to add later....